The Gentlemen of the Diamond Saloon

Ms. Cassandra Dean: Hello, gentlemen. Thank you for agreeing to sit down with me.

Mr. Rupert Llewellyn: Delighted, dear lady, absolutely delighted! Aren’t we, Garrett old chap?

Mr. Ethan Garrett: It will be a delight to speak with you, Miz Dean, and that’s a truth.

RL: Now now, sir, don’t be such a stick in the mud. Can’t you see this dear lady is trying to ascertain a right and proper discourse with us. You have to be more verbose, more eloquent and loquacious. Dazzle her with your diatribe, my friend!

EG: I apologise for him, Miz Dean. Sometimes, he goes off on these flights and none can bring him back.
CD: That’s quite all right, sir, but I would be mighty grateful if you would tell us a little about yourselves.

EG: Ain’t much to tell, ma’am. I was born in Chicago, and gained a fascination for coal when still a youngster. Been following it ever since, and now I’m a coal surveyor, surveying in land owned by them that wants to mine it.

RL: That’s your story, Garrett? My tale, my dear Ms Dean, involves sea-monsters and travails, and a passage into the unknown. Why, I crossed a whole ocean to arrive in Freewill, in pursuit of my dream. A dream I cradled to my breast as a youngster, a dream where I was part of this American West, with cowboys and saloons and a Stetson. I think I’d look good in a Stetson. Stetsons are nifty.

EG: You can borrow my Stetson. Seeing as they’re nifty and all.

RL: Ah…Well, maybe they’re not so nifty after all. Besides which, they would disturb the set of my hair, and after my man-servant spent hours upon it.

EG: Man-servant?

RL: You don’t have one?
CD: What are you thoughts on the Diamond Saloon?

RL: I adore that place, simply adore it! Why, I offered to purchase the delightful property from Mrs Reynolds, offered a princely sum as well, if you don’t mind the vulgarity of mentioning money. However, she did see fit to refuse me, not that it deters me in any way. No, I shall try again tomorrow! And possibly the next day. Or the day after. I’m unsure as yet, that’s such a long time away and anything could happen between then and now. Why, I could decide to become a gunslinger! I think I should make a fine gunslinger, don’t you, Garrett?

EG: No.

RL: Ah. Well. Quite.
CD: And Mr. Garrett? Your thoughts?

EG: I like to spend some time at the Diamond, play a hand or two at the poker tables. Sometimes, the girls and Miz Pearl put on a show even when it ain’t time for the Spectacular. That’s always a mighty fine evening when it occurs. Miz Pearl has the sweetest voice, even if her tongue’s caustic when she ain’t singing. And she looks like she enjoys it, you know? Looks like she loves it, even.
CD: Mr. Garrett, are you taken with the Spectacular’s star?

EG: Here now, I ain’t taken with Miz Pearl. She’s…I…. I ain’t taken with her.

RL: Methinks you doth protest too much!

EG: I ain’t protesting, too much or otherwise.

RL: Of course not.

EG: And what about you? Why are you in Freewill? I hear tell Mrs. Reynolds thinks there’s more to your story that what you’re willing to tell, and that’s a fact.

RL: There’s nothing more.

EG: Nothing? Now who’s protesting? And I seen how you look at Mrs. Reynolds when you think no one’s watching.

RL: How do I look at her?

EG: Like you’ve been waiting forever for a woman to see past that fool grin you’re sporting. And like you want to haul her against you so every bit of you is touching every bit of her.

RL: Well, I…Huh.

EG: You got a brain in that head of yours, Llewellyn, and she knows it even better than I.

RL: Huh.
CD: *clears throat* Uh, so, gentlemen. Why have you come to Freewill?

RL: *shakes himself* How could I not! The lure of the West, dear lady, the lure of the West!

EG: Mrs Reynolds contracted me to look into her…uh, that is, because.

RL: Mrs Reynolds contracted you?

EG: No. I misspoke.

RL: Because the way I hear it, Mrs Reynolds would have no call for the use of a coal surveyor.

EG: And she don’t. Because she didn’t contract me.

RL: Of course she didn’t. Because she doesn’t need a contractor.

EG: Damn it, Llewellyn, is this like the protesting?

RL: You know, you ought to be careful what you say, Garrett. Some coal company might be wanting knowledge of Mrs Reynolds claim—should she have one, of course.
CD: What are your plans for the coming months?

EG: Don’t have much of one, really. Surveying. Coming into town. More surveying. Which is not for Mrs Reynolds.

RL: And as for me, I will purchase the saloon from Mrs Reynolds, make no mistake!

EG: Ain’t no one going to get Mrs Reynolds to sell that saloon.

RL: Don’t underestimate my determination, Garrett. I always get what I want, one way or another.

EG: You surely do have a brain in that head you’re trying to pretend is empty, don’t you?”

RL: I don’t know what you mean.
CD: And will you gentlemen be attending the Spectacular?

RL: Of course! How can I do anything else? Mrs Reynolds is such a delight, and her Spectacular can only prove to be the same! And I…well, Mrs Reynolds and I have some unfinished business, over and beyond the saloon. I’m hoping we’ll resolve that at her Spectacular.

EG: I never miss one. I like seeing Miz Pear— That is to say, I like seeing all the performers.
CD: Thank you so much for speaking with me.

RL: Anytime, dear lady! You have but to ask.

EG: It’s been a pleasure, Miz Dean.


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