Gossip Girl is on tonight! I am so excited I might squeal. This is strange, as the only bits I currently like are the bits with – surprise, surprise – Chuck and Blair. Oh, and Jenny’s halfway decent I suppose. The rest of the characters though – blech.

Whose idea was it that Rufus and Lily fight and almost divorce over Lily…um…kissing her ex-husband while Rufus and she were engaged?  Seriously?  They cannot just discuss it like the rational adults they are supposed to be?  These guys are the stable contrast to the frakked up lives of the younger GG peeps.  How can this be if they are fighting over something as adolescent as that?

Serena and Nate.  Wow.  Nate has now been in some sort of romantic capacity with every girl on the show – barring Lily, but who knows what they will reveal in future episodes.  I guess Serena and Nate kinda make sense, but for them to be in love with each other after no real angsting, or two seasons of awesomeness like another rad couple who shall remain nameless, it’s just sort of lame.  Besides, I’ve never been able to believe Blake Lively as the bad girl – she’s just too gosh-darn nice – and Chace Crawford is most believable, I find, when he is Dan’s friend.  Why can’t the writers do something with that?  I’m sure they’re talented enough (only witness the awesomeness of Chuck and Blair).

Which brings me to Dan and Vanessa.  Oh my god.  SO don’t care.  Those guys are so totally boring.  I can’t believe they don’t just kill Vanessa off or have her run away to a commune or something.  She has absolutely no value as a character on that show.  The only way she would work would be if underneath all that hippy crap she was some sort of scheming harpy.  A hippy Blair, if you will.

And Dan…oh Dan.  You need some angst.  You need some emotional trauma.  Writers, find the thing Dan wants more than anything…and take it away.  Please.  He needs SOMETHING to strive for.  The whole purpose of drama: the pursuit of something you want and the obstacles in the way.  Being awesome at writing and getting accolades is boring.  Have him be crap at writing.  Have him agonise over it.  Or have him seduced by wealth.  Just have him do something!

Jenny.  Jenny is at least slightly interesting, even if she is a massive brat.  As for Eric…um, where did he go?

Ah, and now my favourite.  Chuck and Blair.  You guys.  You are so awesome.  Do not frak with these characters, writers.  I will organise a murderous mob of villagers if you do.  Seriously.  Pitchforks and torches, the whole works.  Mummy issues, daddy issues, loss of identity, hurting the one you love above all others…Oh my god, is that all internal emotional angst?  Really?  Does that stuff, like, work and stuff?  WHY DO YOU NOT DO THIS FOR VANESSA AND DAN???

Okay.  That’s enough raving.  But…

Gossip Girl is on tonight!!!  Squeal!!!1!!!1!!

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